Human Growth

       -"If it doesn't challenge you, it won't change you."

 

In my short time on this earth I have experienced my share of life changing moments. Some good, some bad. None the less each and

every one of these metaphorical glitches in the game of life have

not only shaped and molded my character but, tested my limits challenging me to grow into the hardworking man I am today.

(Here are some of these moments)


Moment of clarity

While growing up my father was a remarkable man but some where down the line as much as I hated to admit it then, he had become an addict. Bringing me down while in turn digging himself deeper and deeper into a very dark place at the time.(misery loves company) Don't get me wrong growing up he was my hero as well as a very talented man teaching me all he knew about the millions of things he did know but by my 21st birthday that had all changed. From then on I had followed him in everything and never actually had the chance to find my own path but that year I decided I would. A friend and I decided to join the air force, at the time his uncle was in the MEPS department (Military Entrance Processing Station) and said he could get us into a program together, we were in. Seemed as if instantly everything changed we spent longer in the gym, quit smoking , quit drinking , we were even yelling at each other while running to "train"(Must have looked ridiculous). That's when I saw it , everything I would start doing better with my father would try and bring me back saying things like "join the coast guard so we can smuggle cocaine from Bolivia". That being said I still didn't mind, I had a goal and I was going to complete it. Skip 3 months ahead we had grown astray and at this time I was signing up the following morning so my friend and I did what any normal 21 year olds would do ...we went to the bar. After a couple pitchers of bud light we headed back to my house to talk about what was going on with some friends currently enlisted. While pulling up to my house I hear my fathers voice screaming at the top of his lungs at what could only be my grandmother. I proceed to walk in and sure enough there he is screaming in this poor women's face about paying for his room. Well that didn't rub me all to well but calm as I was I try to calm him down and get her upstairs, in the process he swings at me twice. Ducking both blows I move to defend myself when all of a sudden were both on the ground. In a headlock I plead with him to stop "I cant breath!" I scream to no prevail. Before completely blacking out fight or flight kicks in and I just start swinging, all I remember after that is him on the ground and the cops telling me I have to go with them (mind you I called them). Next morning I go to court and low and behold you cant go to the military with an open case and mine would be open for 7 months...great. Well just so happens while walking to the store from court I pass a barber school with a big sign out front reading "student degrees in a fast as 7 months!". If that wasn't a sign I don't know what was I walk in sign up sadly kick my father out of my life and start a new. 3 years later as a licensed barber, soon to be business owner and major I now see I needed that more than I could have ever know.  (although I never see him I have also recently reconciled with my father)

 

A Moment Frozen In Time

Back in 1997 I was living in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. At the time my father had been sent to jail and I was living with my mother and my fathers girlfriend (as weird as it sounds)in a apartment complex we rented out. The time was 8:32 I had just finished up dinner and was laying down with both of them watching Baywatch (also weird I know)as I saw it. Bellowing from under the bedroom door was the blackest, thickest smoke I had ever seen... the house had caught fire!. We tried to open the door but it was to hot we had no idea what to do. Scrambling around the room staying as low as possible to escape the smoke I remembering thinking this is it, were not leaving this house. When all hope seemed lost and the door had actually caught fire a miracle occurred. While walking by a neighbor had heard our screams and seen the smoke, as an ex fire fighter he knew exactly what to do. Out of the nearly burned down door came an ax , and what I thought at the time as nothing but an angel. He then proceeded to grab mini me and lead the two women out of the house safe and unharmed. Apparently a neighbor had fallen asleep while smoking and as we were fine, the house on the other hand was gone. Next thing I know my mothers in jail as well and I'm on the way to live with grandparents I had never met...This time did a lot for me. Not only did I experience how fast everything in life can be taking but even as I child I then understood I had been given a chance to truly live. Even though through my life there's been moments I wasn't taking full advantage of this incredibly complex thing we call life, I still look back at that day as the day my life began a new.(the first time)

Moment Of Self

As a teen I was to say the least mixed up with the wrong crowd. All coming from broken homes my friends and I seemed to always be the kids parents would tell there children to stay away from. In my group it was almost a right of passage to be locked up in a DYS unit (Department of Youth Services) but at the time I was the only person to stay out of trouble...this would change fast. Summer 2005 I was with a friend at the mall when we discovered shop lifting, we took everything in sight and brought home over $1500.00 worth of merchandise that night. We thought we were the best thing since sliced bread (we had even stolen a bunny...a bunny!). So next day we of course went back to try again, big mistake. First store first polo watch my friend picks up in a local sears they pick us up. Two plain closed security guards had saw us come in and recognized us from the previous days footage, it was over we were caught. After a long scolding they decided we had been through enough and they would call our parents instead of the police. We gratefully agreed and waited for the moment of truth. The second our family's brought us out of the store we ran, simultaneously convincing each other it would be better than the punishment. We then proceeded to a girls house we knew down the street that night we slept in her closet(it was huge) while we were "on the run". The next morning we had woken up to a knock on the window, it was a girl I had been talking to at the time and she wanted to drink I eagerly agreed but where?. The girl then proceeded to tell me about an abandon house down the street that her mother was trying to sell, she had stolen the key earlier in the day and assured us we could definitely go there, what could go wrong!?. A few hours later we were there sitting on the stairs to afraid the floor boards would give in we started making drinks. About an hour in we here a loud bang looking down the stairs we were then blinded by what seemed to be the strongest light in the world. From behind the light a voice identified his self as a local officer just as I heard that a chill came down upon me...We weren't going home tonight. From there I went through a long list of bookings and court until My friend and I were finally moved to the right of passage we had been waiting for DYS.
Since we had know each other they split us in two, he went to the regular unit and I went to the committed unit.(basically minimum security to max). Walking in I have never been more afraid in my life, these were people who have been here for 5 plus years and I did not fit in. The first week I didn't leave my room just slept and reflected on my idiotic decisions, revaluating my current choice of friends. After the first week it became normal-ish, just had to keep on my toes aware of the primal attitude of these already immature children was a deadly mix. By the third week we started school, in this class taught by an ex Harvard professor I realized my potential. At the time I had started class the syllabus had called for a practice sat test so even at a 6th grade reading level I took it. A day later I got called into the teachers section, walking over with the guard I didn't know what to think...was I once again in trouble.. what did I do? The second I walked in the professor and my parents greeted me with open arms. Confused with the situation at hand I stood puzzled until the professor spoke. He then persisted to tell me I had gotten the best score in class and that I had no reason to be there.. I agreed. Although the professor couldn't get me sent home he then proceeded to pull some strings to get me put into a residential program where I could as he said "go back to school and uncover my true potential". This moment was very important to me for many reasons, not only showing me were the path I was leading would bring me to but also what life I could lead if I applied myself. Although I did not do well in high school there after, I did then gain the confidence and drive I needed for finishing my last degree as well as the next.

(this week my poem is a rap/poem about what angers me since I loved every job I've had)

 

Truth For Truth?

 

 



Who is mike if not a Rebel in this shadow of clones
N What is life When even devils in most hallow of homes
So I'm just fighting
but its like I'm in this battle alone
Cuz no one even wanna listens rather chat on your phone
(its like)
am I the only one trying to find my holy trinity
yet every girl thats into me
So crazy that Im literally
Ducking double agents metaphysically
Watching how there ora change its like it happen instantly
(its like it happen instantly)
Friends turn to enemy's and happiness to misery
But I will always be the one Son of the liberty
Fighting for the little man
 the middle man
the poor sap
working two jobs yet still can even afford that
Apartment in the complex Food for his baby another
bill up in the mailbox From his baby's mother
Or the beating mothers
Too scared to leave there lovers
he's a good man till he drinks
(He needs another)
and the grieving mother
Looking down on her only child
only Wish in the world!
is her little girl could only smile (Damn)
damn what really f##ks with me
is the same kids dying are as young as me
With hopes and dreams of a world that might change
It could all just be a lost gone within a spiked vein
loaded gun fatal fall or even car collision
So i deaded fear
I up n started living
Captain Mark the mission
Take the world n twist it
Overtake the masses faster than a fad I go
Hand and hand with money But compatible with classical
So straight bars or facts either way it doesn't matter No
ill be flashing on these posers like we snapping at a fashion show
(whoa)
So I don't have prove that ( nah)
I just go an Improve that  (ha)
(went from)
big b fitted to a black and gold bruins snap
Mr fantastic holding storms Where the moons black
The thing is its visible to see that dr. dooms back
in a world full of a villain's maybe dooms
where the truths at.